the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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