i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
