I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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