I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
