We're like a lot better than the average bears
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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