apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
