two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize