You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Im part way to drunk.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
