the new term for farting is butt boxing.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Randomize
