I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize