Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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