YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
