like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
