I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
