when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
this is an emotional support booty call
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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