So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
