There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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