this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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