we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
