Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
