if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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