you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
