That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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