I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I look better un-naked...
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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