I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
