I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
