Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
