She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
