Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
