just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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