Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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