Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Everclear isn't food dammit
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
