Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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