It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Randomize
