Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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