rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
