Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
