i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
