Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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