did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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