Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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