piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
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