u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
this boner is exhausting
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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