Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
