Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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