Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
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btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
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He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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