Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
