I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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