I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
