I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
