3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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