Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
