im drinking this country out of the recession.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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