Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Please don't give away my fajitas
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
