The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize