Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
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I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
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And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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