That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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