so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
