I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
