just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
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