idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
