i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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