um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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