He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
either way he was missing a nipple.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize